Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
