its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
