I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
