You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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