put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
