Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
