He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize