When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize