Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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