And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
