I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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