Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
