jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
