You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just pee around me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
