god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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