Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"

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(314): View more from Missouri

It'll be just me and my penis against the world.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"

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(425): View more from Washington

Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable

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(805): View more from California

I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running

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(+45): View more from Denmark

He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful

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