Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
