Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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