I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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