who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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