After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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