I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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