Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
