Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
