he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
