I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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