i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We left the knife in your bed.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
