Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
