after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
third nipple confirmed
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
