So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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