At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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