1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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