you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
