I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
