Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she smelled like a LAN party
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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