Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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