just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
