Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
