i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
