You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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