Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
