Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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