she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
