there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
