1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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