Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
