the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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