Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
