I'm eating all of the evidence.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
