So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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