we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
