They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
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