Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize