oh god the rape fog is back!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
