I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
