I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
vagina is talking i cant
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize