trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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