I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
