i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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