The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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