Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize