you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
