I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
