This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
