I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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